Somebody, defined the way a dictionary would
This is the shape that takes a minute of thought and lands hardest, because the definition is yours to write. The word goes across the cover with its pronunciation and its part of speech beneath, set the way a dictionary sets them, and then you say what it actually means. Thirteen are ready-made for the people it usually gets bought for, five more for a teacher or a mentor, and a row for any word you like: a blank one, and eleven already written for a Legend, a Problem solver, a Soul sister or a Dog dad. The headword is not fixed on any of them: the Nana entry will say Nan, Gran, Nain or Mamgu instead, and the blank one will say whatever you type.
A definition is a lot of small type, and small type is the first thing to go furry when a cover is printed. These are cut into the hide by a laser in-house, which is what lets the pronunciation and the part of speech stay legible at the size a dictionary would set them. Every line of the meaning is yours to write, and the preview redraws as you type it, so you read your own definition on the finished cover before you pay for it. Then this happens.
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Any word at all
Ready for a person
Ready for a teacher or a mentor
- TeacherThe word itself across the cover, how to say it underneath, and a meaning you write about one teacher in particular.£17.99
- Teaching assistantThe longest headword of the set, with the pronunciation and the meaning beneath it exactly as the others have.£17.99
- MentorMentor, set as an entry: pronunciation, part of speech, and a definition left blank for whoever knows them.£17.99
- Head teacherHead teacher as a dictionary would set it, with the meaning written by somebody who has actually met them.£17.99
- LecturerLecturer, defined at length. This one is set smaller, so there is room for a definition that runs on a bit.£17.99
Why this shape lands harder than a compliment
Because a dictionary does not flatter anybody. Setting a person as an entry borrows that flatness, so a line that would sound sentimental in a card reads as a statement of fact on a cover, which is a much harder thing to dismiss. It also asks something of the buyer, and that is the real reason it works: you cannot fill this one in without deciding what the person actually is. Nobody receiving one is in any doubt that a few minutes went into it, which is not true of most presents at this price.
How to write a definition that is not a greetings card
Write it the way a dictionary would and let the content do the feeling. Start with what the person does rather than how you feel about them, keep it to one or two clauses, and put the specific thing in: the phrase they always say, the thing they turn up with, the thing they refuse to do. Avoid adjectives that would fit anybody. If you get stuck, write the sentence you would say to somebody who had never met them, then cut the first half of it. Look at the preview before you settle, because a line that reads well in a text box reads differently set in type across a cover.
The word itself, and when to use the blank one
The ready-made entries take the family word and let you rewrite the meaning, so a Nana, a Grandad or an Auntie gets the entry with the title they really go by. The title is not fixed either. Every one of them has a button beside the word that cycles the ways that person gets called: Nan, Nanna, Gran, Granny, Grandma, Nain, Mamgu. Mam, Mammy, Mummy, Mother. Hubby, Wifey, the missus, our kid, our lass. Or you type your own, up to twenty-five characters, which is the whole of the blank one and the interesting half of this page. It has been bought for a job title, a surname used as a noun, a private word a family uses for a thing nobody outside it would understand, and a made-up word somebody has been called since school. If the word is not English it still sets properly; if it is not a real word, the pronunciation line is where the joke goes.